How do I interview my parents?


Key Points:

  • Plan the interview environment

  • Prepare your questions in advance

  • Get your parents to open up by asking open-ended questions

  • Test the recording equipment and make sure it is working properly

  • Try to relax and have fun!


How do I get my parents to open up?

One of the best ways to get your parents to share is to ask them questions about the past, not the present. Start with questions that are easy to answer and personalise them. Once they start feeling more comfortable, you can ask follow up questions that probe into the areas you’re most interested in.

Show that you are listening and interested using your body language. Keep eye contact, nod, shake your head and offer verbal responses as appropriate. Try to do this without indicating any judgment. When people feel listened to, they’re more likely to talk.

Along these veins, silence is your friend. Even if it feels awkward, not jumping in and responding right away can leave space for your parents to keep talking as they reflect. Just make sure you still look interested!

What should I ask them in the interview?

When you're recording your family members' memories, questions are your best friend. They help to guide the conversation.

The best questions are open ended. That means they start with "How" or "What." These types of questions encourage the person talking to share more stories and details than if you were to ask them a question like, "Did you have fun at the beach?" (which can be answered with just a "yes" or a "no").

Here are some ideas for questions (or see our longer article on the subject):

  • What was it like when you were growing up? (This is a great starter question.)

  • What do you remember about your parents and grandparents?

  • What was the culture like where you grew up? (Were there specific holidays, styles of dress, music, etc. that stand out in your memory?)

  • Did people play games or sports in your neighbourhood? How did they have fun?

  • Can you tell me about some of your favourite TV shows when you were young?

Want more questions? We can email you a longer list:

What's the best way to record the interview?

There are a few different ways to record your interview. What's right for you will depend on a variety of factors:

  • The recording method you choose should be convenient for you, but also make your parents feel comfortable. Many people use their phones to record videos these days, and that’s what we encourage with the StoryTiling app.

  • I highly recommend using video if possible because it gives you the ability to see their faces and expressions later on as you review the footage and write about what they say (it can also be really fun for future generations to watch). But if it won't work out for any reason, audio is always better than nothing.

What equipment do I need?

To start recording, you’re going to need a smartphone—at the very least. A smartphone can work, but you may want to consider using some additional equipment that’s a bit fancier. Here’s what we recommend:

  • A smartphone camera set to record video.

  • A tripod or a way to prop up your phone so that it is stable and doesn't shake around during the interview (not recommended).

  • A way to back up your recording. Make sure that you have enough space on your device for it and keep it stored safely until you can get it backed up somewhere else.

Learn more about how to preserve your family history and how to capture your grandparents’ life stories.

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What are questions to ask my parents?